#rememberLiam

Marcus Kowal

Sep 3, 2022
2 min

On this Saturday, 6 years ago.

Today, 6 years ago, I started the longest, darkest, and most difficult journey I have ever been on. The 3rd of September will forever be a difficult day, as it brings back a tremendous amount of painful memories. Today is the first time since the day everything changed where the third falls on a Saturday. I remember the day in such detail: what I had done and what I was going to be doing. The 3rd of September 2016 was a hot summer day and we were going to the Fiesta Hermosa w

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 3, 2021
4 min

Seeing colours again

On July 26th, the day of my 4-year old son Nico's birthday, our OB doctor reminded me of something. She has given birth to all three of our children and she said, “I remember what you said to me on this day four years ago, you said I can see colour again”. I had heard it somewhere from some other parent who had lost their child. The day Nico was born, I started seeing colour again. At first, the colours weren’t as bright, they have continued to grow stronger and brighter. I r

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Marcus Kowal

May 25, 2021
3 min

A letter to Liam.

Today you would have turned 6. That sounds so big, you would have been a little boy. It’s easy to imagine what you would be like when I see other children your age. Anytime I see a child born in 2015, I can’t help but look at them and imagine you next to them. Your little brother took his first martial arts class the other day. It was hard to watch and not to think of you. You were supposed to be there in class and show him what to do. He is doing so well though. He’s so kind

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Marcus Kowal

Feb 19, 2021
3 min

Chasin’ Change - Why we are running 68.8 miles.

On February 27, 2021, me and some good friends will take on the 68.8 miles “Backbone Trail” in the Santa Monica Mountains. The event is to raise funds for Liam’s Life Foundation as well as awareness for the need to change drunk driving laws and habits in the U.S. We started the tradition in 2019 when we ran the Grand Canyon, Rim to Rim to Rim, named “50 for 0.05” in our efforts to have the legal BAC lowered to 0.05. This Runraiser idea to run the Backbone trail was born once

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

A simple date

Sometimes, a simple date, a simple combination of numbers, can mean so much. To most of our generation, it is 9/11. To me, it's 9/3/2016. Just another day on the calendar for most people, yet powerful enough to bring a grown man to his knees. Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me how I felt about today coming up. I answered that it is what it is. I can't stop the day from coming and you learn to just accept it. At the same time, I think it helps in healing in many ways. With e

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

You should have turned 5.

Today, we should be celebrating your fifth birthday. It would have been a strange way to celebrate it since the whole world is on shutdown but it certainly beats not being able to celebrate it at all. Instead, it’s the hardest day of the year and it will continue to be so for the rest of my life. You learn to live with it and you learn to see it through but that doesn’t mean it is not difficult. And fuck does it hurt. It’s been a tough year in many ways, having the bill that

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

Tiny Impressions

Being a parent is a lot of work. Yet, time flies and remembering your child's every special moment is impossible. But this will help !

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

Dia de los Muertos

From having lived in Mexico, I've been familiar with the Mexican holiday Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. It is a tradition that is celebrated over three days, where family members and friends pray and remember their loved ones that have passed on and show support for their spiritual journey. Dia de los Muertos isn't viewed as a sad holiday but a celebration of life and death, as death is seen as a natural part of the circle of life. It is said that the souls of your l

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

Be your own champion

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing, Aristotle said. He was right. You can make sure that you don't stand out and you avoid any attention. Perhaps then you won't get judged or criticised. Albeit you probably still will be. Or, you can do what challenges you, what you enjoy and ultimately, what fulfills you. Being your own champion doesn't mean that you're conceded, selfish, or r that you think you're better than others. Rather the

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

Bigger than fighting

Last weekend, Systems Training Center had 3 more fights (we've had six in the past 3 weeks). I love watching the next generation of Systems fighters emerge. On Saturday, it was my own turn to step back into the cage but this time, it was not for an MMA fight but a super fight in grappling. Richard Arreola, who is the head of CSUF's BJJ program, USKO Anaheim and one of the top competitors from One BJJ, trained under the legendary Giva Santana. Me and Richard had a great matc

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

2 days left before the USKO Superfight

I've had a lot of people reach out to ask if I'm fighting again. I'll be honest, I'd love to fight again but I won't. I don't love using the term "fight" when no punches are exchanged but at the same time, it will definitely be a battle, come Saturday night. My opponent is very talented. Here's some of his merits: IBJJF Masters World Champion (3x medalist) 2x IBJJF Nogi World Champion (4x medalist) 3x IBJJF Pan-Am Champion (Gi/Nogi) 5x IBJJF American National Champion 8x SJJI

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
7 min

Running the Grand Canyon

I'm going to write two different blog posts on running the Grand Canyon: one on my personal experience and one on how to prepare for it (or any long run to be honest with an insane incline) from my experience. Me, Mishel and the kids drove to Arizona from LA on the Friday. We started out around 5am. We left early, partially to skip LA traffic but also to get used to the early hours. The idea was to get to sleep earlier and adapt to the 4am start time but it ended up just bein

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

The reality of it.

It's finally starting to sink in a little. The fact that this is going to be really hard. This is the e-mail we got from the National Park Rangers. The whole heat and water thing doesn't seem great. Checking the temperature (subjective to change, obviously) and it looks like it can get as high as 104. That's 40 degrees celsius. I went to my doctor today for a check up. He said "can you perhaps only do half of it?". Doing half of it would be not doing it, which equals 0. I loo

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

When hope leaves.

Today, three years ago, our hope died. We had spent the past twenty-four hours waiting for the last test to be done, which was going to determine if there was any response coming from Liam's brain. There wasn't. Deep inside, we both knew it already but hope is stubborn and will hold on for as long as it can. Especially when the alternative is your world falling apart. Yesterday, I wrote that the third of September was the worst day of my life. The truth is that the fourth w

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

3 years after losing you

Today marks 3 years since the worst day of my life. A day that has taken me on a journey that no parent, no human, should have to walk. It has tested every fiber of my being, both physically and mentally. Someone asked me the other day if it feels like a long time ago or if it feels recent. I had to think about that question for a second but the answer is both. It feels like yesterday. It feels like just days ago, you and me were playing. I look at photos and videos with yo

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

Apologies & Happy Labor Day

T minus 6 days. And I owe another $100. I'm sorry for the delay in these daily check-ins but I just got a newly designed website up and it didn't allow me to post the articles for some strange reason. For that, I apologize. I hope you a fun and safe Labor Day. Labor Day is one of the deadliest days when it comes to drunk driving. Please don't drink and drive. Be smart. Just get an Uber or a Lyft. Would love any and all feedback on the new website! As always, please feel fre

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

The last 10.

I guess I owe another $100. Today, I did the last 10 miles before the race next week. It was supposed to be fairly light and although we didn't go too fast, it was an intense run, with almost 5,000 feet elevation. Check out the video for the beautiful but nasty trails going up the cliffs! Wasn't sure how it would feel after the painful 30 last week. It went better than expected and even up the leg burning trails, it felt fine. The rest of the week will be spent resting and s

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Born to run - the Tarahumaras and my book as an audiobook

Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
2 min

Born to run - the Tarahumaras and my book as an audiobook

If you were hoping to get to read about Bruce Springsteen and his famous song/album, you were wrong. Btw, I guess I owe another $100. It's been a lot of work and on top of teaching, training, running, 2 children, 4 gyms, the non profit, the bill to lower the BAC to 0.05, the personal coaching and some other projects, it's leaves very little time to write. BUT; that's on me. That's my job to get up earlier if need be. Even though I really don't like the thought of having to ge

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

The only IT I understand

Anyone that knows me, knows that technology isn't my strength. I'm aware of it and I'm ok with it. The only IT I care about right now is my IT band. It's tight. It's really, really tight. From year's of taking leg kicks, my IT bands have become harder than a rock. Especially my left one (my front leg when in a fighting stance). Guess which side is hurting when I run? My left. The IT band is a tendon that serves several functions. It runs from the hip down to the tibia (shin

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Marcus Kowal

Sep 22, 2020
1 min

You win or you learn

That you win or you learn is a common saying in fighting. The saying comes from that the L that you get on your record in fighting stands for Learning, not Losing. It can be very true. Unfortunately, it can also be a big fat lie. It's very common that fighter's start blaming everything around them. The weight cut. The training camp. The team. The coach. Sometimes, those can be real reasons but even when they are, they're not enough. Yesterday, I lost at running. Yes, I made

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MARCUS KOWAL

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