From having lived in Mexico, I've been familiar with the Mexican holiday Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. It is a tradition that is celebrated over three days, where family members and friends pray and remember their loved ones that have passed on and show support for their spiritual journey. Dia de los Muertos isn't viewed as a sad holiday but a celebration of life and death, as death is seen as a natural part of the circle of life. It is said that the souls of your loved ones awaken to celebrate with you for the day. I love the holiday, I think it's a beautiful way to honour and celebrate your loved ones who are no longer with you. But I'd be a liar if I told you that it is just a day of happiness. It's not.
It hurts. It hurts to see the many pictures of Liam, next to his favourite foods and little green frogs. It hurts to be reminded that his favourite foods can only be next to his pictures and we can't feed them to him. But it's beautiful to see so many remembering him and posting pictures.
It's early morning as I'm writing this and I'm sitting here listening to your little sister sing her little songs. She's just finding her voice and new decibels every day. She looks even more like you than Nico did at that age, especially when she sits in her swing, which is similar to the one you had. It hurts sometimes when I look at her and see you but at the same time, it makes me happy. You get used to it.
You get used the gut wrenching pain. You get used to the waves of sadness that sometimes overwhelm. But then you get back up.
And then you see the sun again and you keep moving forward.
Tomorrow, we are running Malibu's half marathon in your honour (thank you Peter Jumrukovski for setting up team #rememberLiam). Hopefully, the fires won't have the event cancelled and the air quality won't be too bad.
To support the run, click here.